Hey, welcome to today's episode. I am so excited to be here. If you are seeing me for the first time, my name is Brandy Shaver.
And what I do is help network marketers, entrepreneurs, business builders, learn how to build their business, using social media and other skills and resources that are going to help you grow an incredible business.
So today we are talking about the five simple steps to handle overwhelm. If you've ever been overwhelmed, go ahead and let me know.......
I was just feeling this way yesterday and we're going to talk a little bit about the reason.
But there is a lot to be said when it comes to growing your business, especially online, right?
There's all the things.......There's the notifications. There's the kids that need you. There's the spouse that needs you. There's the dinner that needs to be made. There's the business that needs to be built. There's the bottom line, if you're making any money. There's the success. There's the not success.
And it can go on and on and on and on and on..........
And yesterday I was actually feeling this way, if you've ever felt this way before, let me know, because I was like, I'm going to lose it if one more person asks me to do something!
And you know what, you might have projects, deadlines, work online. Maybe you're still working a regular job? Family and friends seem to be needing one little thing, my mom called yesterday! And I was like, 'Oh, this is crazy. Like, how am I going to get anything done?'
You're only one person. And you can only handle so much before you totally flip out. Right?
So you want to know some of the skills that help you work through this because overwhelm can get you stuck in your business.
Because if you're overwhelmed and you're like, there's this huge ginormous elephant of a business that I need to grow.
And when you think about it, like eating an elephant, all at once, that's what overwhelm is. And it can creep up on you all too often.
And yesterday I had a lot of things going on. I was trying to get some tax things figured out because corporate taxes are due soon. And you've got a regular taxes due. And I was trying to find all the things and, like I said, my mom was calling, I had lives going on. I had a podcast I was supposed to plan for and all these things.
So let's get to the bottom line. We all hate feeling this way.
And so how can we stop feeling in overwhelm?
And I'm going to give you five simple things that you can do to handle it. And probably some more than five, because there's some things that I have been aware of that have been really helpful.
1. Don't Live In The Future
Number one, stop living in the future!
That's one of the things that I am guilty of, stop living in the future, your stress and your blood pressure builds as you think about everything you need to accomplish. Too much to do and too little time.
And this is what happens when you live in the future. When you're thinking about all the things that have to get done. And I'm totally guilty of this!!
Fears of not being able to get things done and disappointing others. It plagues you, right? But what's here and now, this is the part that's super important.
You've got to get really clear on what's here and now in the present moment and only what's in front of you.
So yesterday when I was in the middle of that tax mess, and I couldn't find the papers that I had this and that, and my grandpa's estate and all these things going on, I just took a deep breath, regained control and reminded myself, listen, I can only do what I can do.
So in the present moment, there's only what's in front of you right here, right now.
The one thing that you don't want to do, which I found myself doing before, is throwing it all to the side and being like, forget it. I'm going to go do laundry.
This is what happens to me when I get overwhelmed is I go find something to clean or something I can organize or something I can control. And you know what? That's not going to move you forward in your business.
So that's number one, is focus on what's present right here, right now.
2. No Unrealistic Lists!
Number two, don't make a list of a hundred things to do in one day.
That's that's not going to work.
You've got to have just a very specific few things on your list to get things done. Don't overwhelm yourself with all the things.
3. No Judgements
Number three, drop the judgments.
Being mindful means bringing your awareness back to the present moment and not judging anything.
Don't judge yourself. Don't judge the situation.
Don't judge your self negatively for not being a superhero. That's what we do as entrepreneurs, is we think that we can get all the things done and we pile too many things on ourselves, right?
So don't judge yourself If you've ever been in that space, because this can take you down a rabbit hole real quick.....'this isn't going to work. I suck at this', right!
I've done it. So don't judge yourself. And don't judge others for how they act or what they say. That's on them, that has nothing to do with you. You can only control what you're doing. I have a friend that says 'it is what it is'. And that's how you choose to respond.
Everything simply is what it is. And that's okay.
4. Make New Choices
Number four is making new choices.
This is one that is hard for me because you're not a superhero and you can't do everything all at once, no matter how hard you try.
The thing is, you're going to have to understand that, and stop creating the lists of lists and lists and lists. If you looked at my list, you'd die.........
There are just lists of stuff from yesterday, and I didn't even get to all of it. But you know, just get really clear on two or three things that you can accomplish in one day.
If you're working a job and you've got maybe church obligations, kids, you've got a spouse and all those things, you've got to get really clear on what you're doing daily.
5. No One is Perfect
Number five, no one is perfect. This is one that I really had to deal with. And let me know if if you've ever said, 'Oh, well, I can't do this because I'm not like so-and-so, or it's not perfect or whatever'.
Like no one's perfect!!!! We're all doing the best we know how to do.
And when you know better, you do better.
So here's some simple steps to get you through this, because I am totally a believer of having actions, steps we can do.
I can say no one's perfect, don't judge others, all those things, but let's get really clear on when we start to feel overwhelmed, what we need to be doing............
6. Relaxation Techniques
Close your eyes and breathe. Here's one of the things one of my personal coaches taught me is that, 'Brandy, you don't breathe enough. You don't take in enough oxygen. Therefore your brain is trying to do all these things at once.'
Stop what you're doing, close your eyes and take three deep breaths.
And I teach my kids this as well.....focus on the air going in through your nose and out through your mouth.
And what my personal coach taught me is, breathe it in like your body's a straw. So you're going to breathe it and it's going to go all the way up and down your body.
Relax your jaw, your face, neck, shoulders, and arms.
This is actually where I get super bad migraines, It's because I sit and like clench my jaw! And then say to yourself, BE HERE NOW. That's it, just focus on what's in front of you right now and finish it.
Just like this live video that I was supposed to do today, I didn't get it done on time and I was a little bit stressed out about it, but you know what? I was focusing on where I was and what I was getting done in the here and now.
Make a list of everything else and either prioritize it, delegate it or say NO.
7. Learn to Say NO
One of my words for 2021 is NO.
Delegate is a skill that you're going to have to learn.
So if you don't have delegation skills, get some, even if you need to get an assistant, like a VA (a virtual assistant is what VA means for those of you that didn't didn't know. I didn't know when I got into this industry), even if you need them like 10 hours a month to just do certain things for you.
So write down all the other things swimming around in your head and then prioritize, delegate it or say no.
8. Take a break
Take a break, take a walk, get a cup of coffee or tea, do nothing while you sip it.
Don't check your email while you're drinking your tea.
Seriously just be! You can go outside, stretch your body, those kinds of things, get into an exercise class that always helps.
I know to a lot of my friends that the gym is their out, that's where they go to de-stress. And, you know, it's not always fun going to the gym, but when you're moving your body, it gets all the stress out.
I have a friend that laughs at the way things happen here in my house. In fact, I have another friend that said, 'If you would just video your life, you'd be a billionaire' because when I'm doing something, like I'll be on a live video, I've got somebody here in the window, I've got another kid standing here doing something or a kid underneath me doing the reading or whatever.
But I mean, let's be realistic, with as little distractions as possible is how you need to complete your tasks, you just have to make it work. That's what I had to do........
I have six kids, when I started building my business online, River was just a teeny baby. And I would hold her and do my live video and she would try to grab my camera and all the things.
And then the last one that I want to share, is saying NO to any other requests until you can comfortably include them into your prioritized list.
So let people know that you're maxed out right now and to be patient.
I actually just had to tell some of my team this week, I'm like, 'Look, I'm maxed out. I can't take on any more projects. I've got to finish what I'm working on'.
And the best thing that you can do is to figure out how you can build a kind of a roadmap for your business.
And I dropped a link for you in the description that you're going to be able to get more on how to do that. So you can grab that, but just know that overwhelm is going to happen as an entrepreneur, as someone building a business.
It's kind of like you're building the airplane on the way down is what we say in my business.
And there's different types of people. There's people that get a lot of work done when you're about ready to hit the ground. They're called a thruster. I just learned this from a friend of mine named Becca Johnson.
Thrusters, they wait until the very last minute and then they power it and do all the work.
There's people that just chug along, a little bit at a time, because that's how they do things.
There's other people that are very planned and there's other styles that people do, but everybody's different.
And just so you know, that being overwhelmed is part of being an entrepreneur.
Sometimes when we invest in a course or a mentorship program, you're going to feel a little bit overwhelmed because you're learning new things, you're trying new things, it can be a little bit scary.
And our natural human behavior is to come back to what we know, which for me is doing laundry.
It's called the terror barrier. So what happens is you leave your safe space, you leave and you're going to grow as an entrepreneur, and then you get to a point where you're like, 'I feel overwhelmed. I feel really don't want to do this anymore. And I'm scared'.
And you'll go back to what you know, it's called the terror barrier. So when you hit the terror barrier, you've got to push through.
And these skills I just gave you, the breathe, focus on one thing at a time, prioritize, all those things will help you to grow your business.
But remember, bottom line, your business is an elephant. Someone just put a huge elephant on your plate, and you've got to eat that elephant one bite at a time.
And you know what, it's on your pace. And if you get out of judgment, you'll really have more success in doing this.
So if you got value from today, go ahead and let me know. If you have somebody that needs to know this message, go ahead and tag them.
And I dropped a link up in the description for you so that you can get more on how you can move forward in your business. Hope you have a great rest of your day and we'll see you next time. Brandy xx.